Self-Care isn’t Selfish!

Self-Care isn’t Selfish!

Do you need more self-care?

Most of us could do with more time for self-care. Unfortunately, we tend to put everyone else’s needs before our own! But, as the saying goes, you can’t look after everyone else if you don’t look after yourself. 

Most women I speak to tend to see any form of self-care as selfish. It’s the first thing you tend to ‘drop’ when things get busy, right?

  • You put off that luxury bubble bath for a quick shower.

  • You miss your morning meditation to sort out the kids’ school bags.

  • You skip that book and cuppa in favour of completing an errand.

Consider this: being selfish actually means to take from others, quite often to their detriment. That’s not what we are doing here, far from it.

Self-care is actually all about replenishing you, so you can then show up as your best version for both you and those around you.

It’s not selfish to put your own needs first! It’s a priority! I most definitely used to run at a million miles an hour doing everything for everyone else: work, the kids, my partner, looking after the house… And then guess what? Yes. BURNOUT!

I could also guarantee this would happen to me on a 3 monthly basis. I’d feel anxious, depressed, physically and mentally exhausted, and literally spend days in bed until I’d recovered! It was a constant cycle that needed to be fixed, and the only way to do this was by making sure my self-care was TOP of my priorities! I function much better as a person, mother, partner and friend this way! 

The link between self-care and manifesting 

From a manifesting perspective, self-care is so important too! How you treat yourself sets the standard as to how others and the Universe treat you. 

So, you need to be treating yourself like a VIP. Even the small things can bring in that feeling of abundance and luxury. And the universe will help bring abundance and luxury to you. 

Here are some ideas to make small shifts:

  • Use a new tea bag every time

  • Buy that quilted loo roll

  • Add those marshmallows to the hot chocolate

  • Get your nails done

  • Ask for a head massage at the hairdressers

  • Book the VIP seats at the cinema

By creating that little sense of luxury, you will attract the real luxury and abundance into your world.

Set your priorities! 

If you are anything like I was, you have a tendency to be a people pleaser who is always offering to help out others. I know this left me rushing around all the time, like a headless chicken.

Are you the same? 

Are you always going over and above for everyone else?

But what about you and your needs?

I would love you to consider what you can release from your life right now? What tasks, jobs or commitments can you let go of, that may help free up some time. Maybe you don't actually need to do them or maybe you can ask for help and pass the job over to someone else. This could then create some time for you to introduce some self-care into your world. A little ME time.

For me, it was ironing… 

I hate ironing, so I decided I was no longer doing it. The clothes are put away after washing. If, when we decide to wear them, they are creased,  I give them a little spray with Lenor Crease Releaser - it's magical!

My partner takes on my half of the house and kid routine for a day, so I can have dedicated time to visit the spa each week. Every Monday morning, you will find me either in the steam room or hydropool. It really sets up the week for me in a positive, happy, relaxed headspace. I also perform and show up much better too as I feel loved, nourished and cared for.

Look for areas in your life where you are over-giving or setting unrealistic expectations. What jobs can you let go of? Who can you ask for help? Remember: you will show up better for the most important parts of your life if you set your priorities - and make sure you are one of them!

What brings you joy? 

It’s important that we keep our self-care topped up, that it’s not just something that you do once you can feel yourself starting to burn out: prevention is alway better than cure.

So, I would love you to create your own Self-Care Circles.

This is something I have recently introduced in the Unleash your MAGIC Membership, and it’s working really well for my members. 

How to create your Self-Care Circles

Take a piece of paper and draw 3 circles. 

  • In the first circle, list some activities that look like self-care for you that take just 5 or 10 minutes. These could be reading, meditating, or dancing and singing to your favourite uplifting song.

  • In the second circle list activities which take a little longer, 1 or 2 hours. Try a ritual bath, a trip to the salon, or coffee and cake with a friend.

  • In the final circle, list some big treats that may take a full day or even a weekend. You could include a Spa day, camping, a fun family day out, or a weekend away.

Now you have created your Self-Care Circles, I would love you to put this up somewhere you can see it as a reminder to do your self-care practice each day. By separating the activities into time taken categories it means you can easily pick out an activity to do and plan for opportunities to include the larger activities.

Set your day up the right way for you! 

Your daily routine doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be right for you.

So, we’ve all heard of that miracle morning, right? Waking up and having time to meditate, journal, exercise, do your positive affirmations…

I used to put myself under so much pressure to get it all done, and then was frustrated with myself that I hadn’t achieved it, thinking I hadn’t set my day up for success. 

But reality check… 

I have 3 children and, as you can imagine, our mornings are utter chaos. Running around finding school uniforms, making sure homework is done, changing nappies, brushing teeth, breastfeeding, preparing breakfast for everyone…

Sound familiar?

For these positive habits to work, and for you to be able to stick with them consistently, they need to be able to fit into YOUR life. 

So, let’s take the pressure off. 

I couldn’t start my mornings without first having a cup of tea. So, I have my positive affirmations stuck by the kettle. I always read them aloud while it’s boiling. My vitamins are there too, so I take those as well. 

Everything else, I fit into my day as and when.

I might grab a quick meditation while the baby naps; journal and do my gratitudes at night when the house is quieter; and repeat my affirmations when I’m sitting at the traffic lights. 

I honestly believe that we don’t have to have the perfect morning ritual. As long as we add the positive steps into each of our 24 hours, they will still have the same compound effect: a more positive, focused mindset for achieving what you want.

So, take the pressure off and make your daily routine work for you.

A Self-Love Spell

I thought I’d also include this little Self-Love Spell for you if you fancy embracing your inner white witch and giving it a go. 


You will need:

  • A black candle

  • A white candle

  • A piece of Rose Quartz

  • A sheet of paper

  • A pen

  • First, create your sacred space. This could be your favourite cosy chair, your favourite spot in the garden, or just a quiet spot on the floor away from the rest of your busy household.

  • Now, hold the piece of Rose Quartz in your hands, recite the following three times:

‘I love and accept myself unconditionally, just the way I am. I love myself enough to walk away from situations that do not serve me.’ 

  • Next, light the white candle

  • Make a list of 10 things that you love about yourself. Put the piece of paper to one side.

  • Now extinguish the white candle and light the black candle. 

  • Recall a time when you felt low self-esteem and, while the black candle burns, imagine yourself walking away from the situation/person. 

  • Now, recite the following three times:

‘I honour my worth and others show me the same respect. I attract only healthy, empowering relationships. And so it is.’

  • Now extinguish the candle.

  • Keep the list of things you love about yourself and place it somewhere you can see it every day.

Self-care is different for us all and I hope that this has inspired you to explore what self-care means for you and to make it a priority in your life.

If you want to learn more about self-care, manifesting, and adding a sprinkle of magic to your life, take a look at my Unleash Your M.A.G.I.C membership You can join me in this beautiful community for just £7/month.

Sending you lots of of love, as always 

Cheryl xx

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