Believe in yourself, increase your confidence and ditch that fear!
Confidence and self-belief are different skills but are very intertwined. When we believe in ourselves we are often confident but having confidence doesn’t necessarily mean we believe in ourselves.
Confidence is not a feeling or a personality trait, it’s a skill, a muscle that can be developed with practice. Confidence comes from competency, which comes from practice, it’s a willingness to try combined with a trust that you will figure it out. Switching our mindsets and how we look at things, even small shifts, can change everything. For example, instead of approaching something with a fear of failure, acknowledge that there is no such thing as failure. We never fail, we either learn, grow or succeed. If you approach a situation with that mindset, you will be much more confident because you know that whatever the outcome, you have achieved something.
When you make the sole outcome of doing “the thing” simply doing it, once it’s done you will feel more confident and your self-belief will improve, because you’ve achieved the “thing” that you set out to do. That will encourage you to do it again and then again. And each time you do it, you will get better and that will improve your confidence and self-belief.
So in essence, confidence comes from taking action, so take the action!
When it comes to a lack of self-belief, you need to know where that has come from, why don’t you believe in yourself?
When did it start?
Did someone else instil it in you?
Have you had past negative experiences?
Write it all down, all the things you have been told or that you tell yourself, all the reasons you don’t believe in yourself, then read them back and ask yourself, is that actually true?
The answer will be no!
Next, write a new positive statement next to each one, that is the opposite of what you originally wrote and give an example of why it’s true. For example “I’m not good at my job/business” changes to “I am great at my job/business because I am passionate about what I do” or “I’ll never be successful” changes to “I am already successful because I define what successful means to me” or “I will be successful because I am determined and can do anything I put my mind to”.
Now turn those positive statements into your daily affirmations! Read them to yourself every day until you truly believe them in your soul and they will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As a coach I have found a universal factor that affects women’s confidence and self-belief and that is comparison to others, what I like to call “comparison-itis”. This is when we measure ourselves, our lives and our value/worth against someone else instead of ourselves. It can be incredibly damaging but how do we stop it?
1.Stay in your own lane. What I mean by that is, know your goals, have an action plan to get them and stay laser focused on reaching them. Don’t look up and get distracted by what others are doing or saying.
2. Don’t compare the start or middle of your journey, to someone else’s end. You don’t know how long they’ve been working on that business, or that body, or that relationship. You don’t know what they’ve sacrificed to get it, you don’t know who’s helped them and you don’t know what their starting point was.
3. Remember that you are you and that is your superpower. No one else can be you and you can’t be anyone else.
4. Don’t compare your bad day to someone else’s best bits. Quite often people only share their highlights, their best bits. They don’t share the bad times, the struggles, the problems. But just because all you see is the good stuff, doesn’t mean they’re not also going through the bad stuff.
5. Make and keep a list of all the things you like about yourself, your qualities and attributes, the things you do well and your achievements, big and small. Once you get into the habit of appreciating, loving and celebrating yourself, you will be much less inclined to look at others, what they’re doing and their achievements. The less you look to others, the less you will compare.
A bit about Claire!
I’m Claire, I’m a confidence, mindset & visibility coach. I help women in business ditch fear & get visible online, so that they can make more sales, more impact and more income ✨
I’m a single mum to one crazy 7 year old girl, we live in Dorset. I was a registered nurse for nearly 20 years & had a holistic therapies business for 2 years, before becoming a full time coach.
I’m a qualified & accredited coach, bestselling author and experienced guest expert.
Here’s how to find me;
If you’d like my tips on how to be confident on camera, click here http://bit.ly/Claires7toptips